Rumble-Jumble

I should never make open-ended promises that are online where no one (except myself) can hold me accountable. Remember poems? I might actually do them someday (who knows), so I won't apologize for not doing them, just in case.



Remember how I'm pregnant? So far it's great. I'm not going to blog about that either. This blog is mostly for philosophizing and puking up angst and so far I haven't needed to do that. (Thank goodness).



Confession: I have never seen Forest Gump. Or Grease. Which do you find more shocking?



Confession II: I don't usually let myself get excited for movies. Either I have confidence they'll be good, so why get excited, or I have a sneaking suspicion they'll be sub-par and I don't want to get my hopes up.

Still, there are two movies in the "Summer Blockbuster" category that I'm actually excited about. Sadly, they'll probably both be very cheesy and have bad dialogue, but hey, I'm still excited cause, well...they look cool.

There's The Last Airbender (See two awesome previews here). Doesn't that just look awesome? I'm excited for way they combine martial arts with the elements. These look like fight scenes that will be enjoyable to watch, in that they are actually beautiful. (Like those space battles in Star Trek. Thank you Mr. Abrams.)

And, of course, The A-Team (trailer). I have such fond memories of that show. The creative element is so fun (and probably the reason I like Burn Notice so much). I love Liam Neeson, and I've heard good things about the guy playing Murdock. I have a special place in my heart for Dwight Schultz, so this new guy better live up to expectations!!

Those films will probably not be my favorite of the summer, but since most people don't talk about or show previews for the types of movies I love, who knows what they will be.



I've been on a non-fiction kick (very strange for me). Right now I'm reading Understanding Child Development by my old professor A. Lynn Scoresby. Great man, great book. I saved it from college. Nugget for the day? Did you know that your brain grows two ways? It grows based on biological cues (that you have no control over), which continue until you are fully grown/developed. But also from mental stimulation (which you do control) that can continue over a lifetime. In fact, research shows that when you keep your brain active it stops aging.

Cool huh?

The other recent thing I learned is about the sensitive periods that exist for human beings. These key opportunities for learning coincide with rapid physical growth. Scientists have theorized that the sensitive period for emotional growth is from birth to five years, for mathematical, birth to five years, and linguistic, birth to ten years. These things can still be learned after that time, but children are more susceptible to them during their early years. As an educator, this kind of makes me sad, because it is easy to pick out the children that do not have one of these learning needs met in their home.

So, parents of the world, don't wait for your kids to start Kindergarten and expect them to thrive when they get there. If they're ready to learn something, go for it!

Two most important things you can do? (in my opinion)
1. Teach them about books by reading to them and making books available to them.
2. Have conversations with them on many subjects (i.e. people, behavior, the world).

I'm not a parent yet, but I've studied a lot about children and how they work/think/learn. You've just received my two cents.



That's all for now folks. I wrote this post to prove to myself that I always have something to say and should write more....who knows, maybe I will.

But I'm not making any promises.

What do you think?

I've wondered lately about my life, and my calling responsibilities in particular.

I've fretted and worried about my abilities, or lack thereof, specifically organization, and decision making....things that do not come naturally to me, but I know are important.


So that must be why I was called to this position?


To learn these important lessons, to "make weak things strong unto [me]".

But sometimes I wonder, if perhaps that's why we have councilors and secretaries, to even out the load, to fill in for each others' lack. Perhaps this is a way for weak things to become strong.


So that must be why I was called to this position?


To share important burdens, to jointly fill essential needs.

But also I ponder (and apparently others do too), that perhaps I already have within me, all that is required. That my abilities, my strengths: calmness, love, innovation, knowledge, and teaching are perhaps the most important things that can be given to those I serve.


And that is why I was chosen for this position?


To fret less about what is hard and unnatural for me, and instead to invest my time, "Improv[ing] the Shining Moments". Taking what is best about me, and giving it all my effort.




I don't know. Perhaps all three?


What do you think?

We all feel like this sometimes....right?

My life is filling up with wonderful, frightening things.

I feel like God has certain things he needs me to learn, and learn fast, before becoming a parent and splitting my focus.

I feel like I must be the most spiritual, the most organized, the most worthy, the most loving, and the most determined I've ever been in my whole life.

I'm going to be awesome, but I'm terrified.


I've never liked hard work.



There is a war within me. A war between growth and comfort, rightness and ease.

Succeeding is so important to me, but I want it to be easy.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.


Perhaps it is a blessing I have no child as of yet. I've never been a good multi-tasker.


Hello life. Please don't hurt me!



Now is the time.


Now.

Now.

Now.

Usually, I let these sort of thoughts pass me by

As a child I didn't think I was very pretty, not ugly either, just not pretty. Either way, it didn't really concern me. As I got older, I was told my coloring was very unique, or that my big, blue eyes were beautiful, and that comforted me. I decided I was unusual. Not pretty in the classic sense, but pretty in a different sense, which, in a way, was almost better. I certainly thought my eyes were prettier than all others I'd seen.



Then I met her.

I have this friend. She kind of looks like me. Sometimes people wonder if we're related.

We're both tall and slender, but she's taller, with thinner legs.

We both have fair skin, but hers is acne, scar, and even freckle free.

We have the same dark hair, hers more expertly coiffed.

Our eyes are the same color, but hers are larger, her lashes longer and thicker.

Her lips are more full, her eyebrows more symmetrical.

While my face is round, hers is longer and thinner, and her cheekbones! Did you know I have a thing about cheekbones? Hers are positively regal, elven even.

We even have the same name.



And yet.


I could never envision a trade. There was no trait so seductive I'd give up a part of myself for it. There has never been anything about her situation that I'd trade for my own.


Until now.




Congratulations my friend.

25 Random Things I've DONE: Indiscretions of my Past and Present

Scroll down to read the NEWLY ADDED 11 and 12!


1. For years, whenever I used the bathroom in someone else's house, I'd check to make sure there was no one behind the shower curtain....I've gotten over that particular fear though, ahuhu

2. When I was 15, my friends and I would get really annoyed with the interruptions from this group of boys in our early morning seminary class. One night, when we were babysitting at the church for some Relief Society function, we brought red and pink paper and markers with us and "Heart Attacked" our classroom with Valentines to and from the two worst (we thought) boys, declaring their love for each other (I'm not saying their names cause they turned out really well, and are nice guys). We put hearts all over the walls and chairs, and we decorated the chalkboards. In the morning, we arrived to find that the teacher had left EVERYTHING up! Apparently she too was annoyed by their jokes and comments in class. All she did was erase the chalkboard that she needed for her lesson. Those poor guys....we made them look foolish and accused them of being gay....and I'm sure they never suspected the home-schoolers!!! I never really felt bad about this....cause it was just a joke, but there were a few other times where I was just plain rude to them (Me? Yes. ME.) and I do regret that.

3. One night after mutual (church meeting for youth), my friend discovered a pair of lacy, RED panties in the bushes by the church. Being the creative girls we were (and apparently very innocent and unconcerned with STDs), we hatched a plan to take them and place them on the antenna of this guy the next morning at seminary. (I think we chose him because he was usually out after us, and he parked his car around the corner....at least....I hope that's why we picked him). Anyway, my friend (ah heck, who cares. It was Chrissy) took the undies home, and brought them the next day in a plastic bag. The deed was done, and we had the thrill, but no pay-off....until a week later. Fortunately, this guy happened to have a little sister who was also a dear friend. She told us the strange, and scintillating, tale of the mysterious red underwear on her brother's car (he was a good boy and went straight home to tell his mother). Poor kid, he'd probably never seen "Satan's Panties" before. Home-schoolers strike again!


4. A friend and I once got into a fake fight on Myspace. We had discussed it, and then my friend acted on it, so I retaliated. Basically the idea was to see who were the type of people that would be curious enough to ask, and who would ignore the drama....it was kind of silly, sorry if I offended you.


5. Ooh! Another fake fight. I call this one, "YOU BETRAYED MY TRUST!" On April Fool's Day '04 my friend (later roommate) Becky and I had a shouting match in my dorm room. She promptly slammed the door and went to her room. I then opened the door, shouted, "And don't slam my door!" and then slammed my own door. Then we laughed hysterically while IMing each other. It turned out that only one person heard it, but I told Isabelle (Becky's roommate) about it later, and she totally believed me. Then I had to tell her I lied, cause I'm like that.


6. More Myspace. Apparently, I am spontaneous sometimes. I decided, for some reason, that it would be funny to change my Myspace profile picture to a sonogram. I guess I just wanted to confuse people, but no one ever said anything. Maybe they assumed it was a niece or nephew....or maybe they thought I'd gotten married without telling anyone....oh well.


7. For a while, my friends and I had the habit of inserting the words in the phrase someone had just said into this form: I'll _____ YOUR ______.

For example: "Watch out for that stop sign!" became "I'll stop YOUR sign."

It was dumb, and usually dirty. One day a friend tried to come up with something that COULDN'T be made dirty, I think it was "Happy Unicorns." And I immediately replied, "I could make that dirty."

Well, everyone thought that was the FUNNIEST thing. I mean, Mary SANDERS, making things dirty? Are pigs flying? (Yes I had the whole "clean mind" reputation) Truth is, I think in metaphors, so of course I can make anything dirty, just like I can make anything about life, or creativity, or education.

Alas, I have since been known as, Mary Makes-it-Dirty.

(Incidentally, "I'll happy YOUR unicorn" sounds VERY dirty, and I didn't even have to TRY)



8. I never had a crush until the week before my seventeenth birthday, when I "fell" for my friends older brother (along with a bunch of other girls too young for him). Anyway, he arranged this singing group for church, and I totally messed up my part (okay, actually just the beginning, but still). And that's how I learned that embarrassment is a great cure for unrequited....
....infatuation.

9. Ooh, ooh! More stupid things I've where guys are concerned! In college, I had a crush on a guy named Isaac. We ended up walking to school together by chance one morning, and I commiserated with him over a bad cold he had. He mentioned that he'd heard garlic was good for the immune system, and I concurred. We parted, and, being the stupid that I am, that evening I borrowed some of my roommates garlic pills (yes, she knew) and taped them to Isaac's door in a zip-loc bag.

Wait....here's the lame part. I left an anonymous note that said something like, "I heard you were sick, and thought you could use these." He, being the Completely Unsuspicious guy he was (at BYU, no less!), found me on Sunday to ask if they were from me, and thank me for my thoughtfulness.

And....that's all. Nothing came of it. I wonder what happened to him? He was really fun/smart/nice, but didn't date any of the girls that liked him (and there were quite a few). Oh well. Wherever you are, I hope you are happy!

10. What's that? You say you want more embarrassing stories about my former love life [lack thereof]? Hmm.... Well, there was Weston. He was quirky-fun and probably a genius (I've got a weakness for genius). Anyway, I liked him, and thought he might just like me (we went on a hilariously fun date, but I asked....although he did play with my hair once, and let our elbows touch during the movie....). Needless to say, I was confused. It all came to a head the last week of school (deadlines make me brave, aka stupid). Again, I went with the note (this time letter) taped to the door. My version of brave doesn't seem very brave, does it.

Anyway, I told him, if he was interested, he should come see me but, if not, I'd probably see him on Sunday and I hope he had a nice life. I suffered some heartache because, of course, he didn't come....that night. The following night, he called and asked me if we could talk. Let me tell you, this guy is quality. He didn't have feelings for me, but explained that he had spent some time trying to make sure. Basically, he actually thought about it. Then, instead of taking the easy out I had offered him, he came to my apartment to explain in person, and try to comfort me. I cannot tell you the depth of my respect for this guy acting like a man. I was almost glad he broke my heart, cause the way he did it was so....nice.
We emailed a few times. Making sure to wait a week or two in between each one so neither of us would appear overeager (for completely different reasons, of course). Gradually, my feelings faded. And then, of course, I started hanging out with Chris. I actually grew a lot from the experience emotionally. It was a stepping stone to real love, by expanding my ability to feel heartache. I tend to shy away from big feelings, trying to suppress them until I feel safe.

11. College pranks! One year I threw a St. Patrick's Day party for my roommates and some people in my ward (Ah, good old Sparks II). We watched Waking Ned Devine (One of the FUNNIEST movies EVER), and I made Irish Soda Bread (yum!). I also bought some gold wrapped bonbons from Wal-Mart (still need to repent for that....) as a sort of stand-in for leprechaun gold. I told everyone they were "Irish Bonbons" (there's no such thing that I am aware of). Little did they know that I had replaced about half of them with chocolate dipped mushroom caps! I kept waiting and waiting for someone to freak out, and, halfway through the movie, Weston (See #10) went, "Ugh! That's disgusting," and, with a look of analytical concentration, promptly took another bite. Meanwhile, I was dieing of laughter in the kitchen. Everyone thought I'd gone mad, but I explained and they laughed. Then my roommate Isabelle pulled out her half-eaten "bonbon" from where she had hidden it under a cusion, not wanting to hurt my feelings!

12. Once I left my purse upstairs after Sunday School, one of the guys offered to go get it for me, so later, during Relief Society (Women's Meeting) I wrote him a "Sunshine Note" (it was a silly/cutesy college tradition, they had someone in charge of distributing the notes), thanking him for being so nice. Then my roommate Becky asked if I had anything to eat with me (she'd get shaky sometimes from what I think was hypoglycemia). I opened up my purse to grab my half eaten granola bar, but I couldn't find it. I didn't think much of it because I lose things all the time (especially in my purse), but, after church when the notes had been delivered, Josh (just remembered his name) came over to apologize for stealing my granola bar. He felt really bad when he got my thank you note. I gave him a hard time (stealing on Sunday, roommate with hypoglycemia, etc.), but we laughed it off. Apparently he had put it in his pocket upside-down, so it crumbled all over. He left feeling properly punished, I'm sure. Of course, late that night, we removed all the wrappers from one and a half Costco boxes of granola bars and taped them to his door.
We just wanted to make sure he nipped that stealing thing in the bud.

Great Gams Afire

Hey you up there!

I know we may be embarrassingly white (and occasionally hairy) but we really aren't that bad to look at! (Are we?) We enjoy sunshine and a breeze as much as your other limbs, and really appreciate the effort you've made in the past months to wear skirts and shorts. You finally got used to us, and realized we aren't that bad! (In addition, between ballet and walking, we've never looked better!) We've seen you checking our definition and shaving more often, so admit it, you're more than tolerant, you're proud of us! We like our new look very much, so we're here to say, "Keep it up!" We understand about Monday, you just got back, hadn't been feeling well, blah, blah, blah....but what about today, huh? Get off your lazy butt (trust us, she really is lazy) and get back at it! Remember the burn? Remember the energy, the sense of accomplishment?

Get going before we try to kick some sense into you!

In frustration and affection,
Your Legs

Anniversary Weekend

Today (May 17th) is my first wedding anniversary. To celebrate, Chris and I decided to take a couple days off, and do lots of fun stuff. We thought about traveling somewhere, but living here in California, there's plenty of stuff we want to do that's right here at home, so we've been taking day trips.

On Thursday, after work, we drove up to Thousand Oaks where I had found a little community company (The Conejo Players Theatre). There we saw The Teahouse of the August Moon. I figured it'd be good since it won both a Tony and a Pulitzer. It's the story of the U.S. occupation of Okinawa following World War II and the American effort to "teach" Democracy. It was well done and funny. Though by today's standards it was on the cheesy side, when it was first performed in the 1950s, I'm sure it was groundbreaking. It just goes to show, if you want to challenge long-held assumptions, it's easier to get through with light-hearted comedy, than heavy lectures.

(P.S. If you want to see Marlon Brando in a comedic role, check out the Movie version)


On Friday we got to sleep in (hooray!) and then we drove out to the Discovery Science Center. The "Cube" is SO fun. Every exhibit is hands-on. Basically, you wander around and play with really cool toys. You try to figure out how things work, experiment to see what would happen if you do this or that, or invent games from the exhibits. (It's kind of like going to Wal-mart with my friend Todd)

One exhibit they have now is called "The Science of Hockey," so Chris got to show off his skills for me (even though I beat him as Goalie!). They also have an earthquake room, virtual volleyball, and we even treated ourselves to some dippen' dots!

Afterward, we went to the mall down the street and ate at CPK. Chris had the Pesto Chicken pizza (with sun-dried tomatoes and pine nuts),



and I had the Thai Peanut Crunch Salad.





On Saturday we went to the Renaissance Faire. After scouring some thrift stores earlier that week, I thought we turned out pretty well. I think we were a little too medieval in style (with low waists instead of high ones), but for first timers I thought we were okay.




I've had that corset for a long time, one of my favorite finds. (and the yellow pin says: "Das CRAY-see!!" It's from the Van Kleaver Brothers' show)





Here's Chris trying out a sword made for men with inferiority complexes: (You can't tell, but it's almost as tall as he is)




And here are some of the details of our costumes:



Thank goodness for Swap Meets, that's where we found the "leather" for Chris' "boots" (which were a pain to make, and yes, those are stapled together)




and also my Snood. The lady gave it to me for a dollar because the elastic was shot....which was cool since I probably would have cut it out anyway!


Chris already had this awesome Swedish belt buckle:




Let me tell you about the Renaissance Faire. If you've never been, I highly recommend it. Be prepared for bosoms and a little drunkenness, but also be prepared for people who trade their inhibitions in for their costumes. It's a very freeing place. You can laugh and sing, insult people, strike up conversations with strangers. Anything goes. The relaxed atmosphere lets people play and have fun. It's a wonderful thing to witness grown adults playing dress-up like children. Did I see fifty-year-old belly-dancers hitting on a pirate? Yes. Did I get talked into buying a raffle ticket ("For a very good cause") by a ten-year old salesman (who is ready to head to the Yukon and make a killing selling ice). Absolutely. Did I cheer my heart out for the arrogant and impudent Sir James? Of course! (Even though we knew he was going to lose as soon as we learned he'd promised each of us a Guinness each for cheering him to victory).

Chris and I are already planning for next year....who wants to come?


On Sunday, the day of rest, we visited family in our home town (not very far away, but not something we usually get to do on the Sabbath because of our church responsibilities).


Then, on Monday we headed out to Knott's (compliments of Mom [Carol] and Dad). We had a great time, but felt our age! There were a ton of middle-schoolers there (standing too close to their boyfriends), and we also discovered that our bodies aren't as resilient when it comes to roller coasters. We were able to go on everything we wanted to, but we had to take breaks between the big ones. My head was killing me, and Chris' back hurt. Still, it was fun and totally worth it! Afterwards we went to PoFolks for dinner. I'd never been there, but it was great! They had typical homestyle diner fare, with an emphisas on southern flavors. The dinners came with three "Veggies." I chose Cole Slaw, Macaroni n' Cheese, and Baked Beans!


We don't plan on doing such extravigant things for every anniversary, but it was nice to treat ourselves. Besides, we all need to do our part to help our failing economy!

Archetypes: What is the Definition of a "Strong" Female Character?

(Once again I find myself inspired by something discovered on accident while looking for something else.

Apparently, Tami Cowden, a romance author, and her partners (I'm not sure in what) got together and wrote a book that catalogues and discusses sixteen character archetypes (eight female, eight male) in fictional works. Here I'm going to present you with a survey of the archetypes along with a few of my thoughts.)

EDIT: After some interesting comments, and a note from Ms. Cowden, I've made a few changes below. If you want those changes to reflect on the facebook quiz, you'll have to take it again.


What is Strength? When you read a book, do you require "Strong Characters" of the author? Do you shut a movie off halfway through, simply because the heroine seems dull, or spineless? What is your definition of dull? Is it the same as mine?




As I've begun writing, I've found myself justifying these characters both to you and to myself. It is my hypothesis that any of these types can be considered "Strong" characters, but they must be mature ones, written by mature authors.

Too often nowadays, we find ourselves faced with ONE right answer. ONE party, ONE lifestyle, ONE ideal.


Good authors can challenge those assumptions, but poor ones seem to ratify them.


Let's begin:

Ladies First:

The Boss

The Boss is a bold, authoritative, and goal-oriented woman. In difficult situations, she jumps in and takes charge, ordering surrounding characters into action, demanding respect, and bowing to no one.



Not surprisingly, Cowden sites Cate Blanchett's Elizabeth, and Katherine Hepburn's Eleanor of Aquitaine in The Lion in Winter as Bosses. Think of, "I even made poor Louis take me on Crusade. How's that for blasphemy. I dressed my maids as Amazons and rode bare-breasted halfway to Damascus. Louis had a seizure and I damn near died of windburn... but the troops were dazzled." And, " I could peel you like a pear, and God, himself, would call it justice. "

I love these women to the point of heroine-worship, but (maybe it's just me) there seems to be a bit of pressure on all women to be like this. After all, doesn't The Boss sound like the ultimate Feminist dream? Here's what I wonder: Are we told to be tough, strong-willed fighters, or does the suggestion come from our own sense of inadequacy?

Though "Strong" is probably the first word that comes to mind when defining these ladies, I tend to enjoy them in their vulnerable moments. They become relatable, yes, but most of the attraction lies in the fact that they are growing, stepping outside themselves.


The Seductress (formerly "Survivor")

This lady is referred to as "mysterious and manipulative." Often dealing with trust issues, she is constantly on the defense, looking for ways to stay ahead. She's intelligent, but hides behind femininity and charm. She's always got a back-up plan.

According to Cowden, the iconic Survivor is Scarlett O'Hara (Gone with the Wind). My bias here is that I just really don't like Scarlett, with her selfishness and schemes. Still, one could argue that she's a product of her situations: "As God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill, as God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."

Still, I have enjoyed reading about Survivors. One of my all time favorites is the title character in Mara, Daughter of the Nile. Mara is redeemable (in my point of view) because she is heroic. She begins by playing both sides in her little spy game, but eventually realizes that she believes one side is "Right" and risks her life for that belief.

Scarlett just ends up making herself (and everyone else) miserable, but Mara matures and becomes more.



The Spunky Kid

Instead of the Boss, this girl's the team player. She holds her own, but is often in a supporting role. She's got lots of friends, is probably a bit of a "tomboy," and has a great sense of humor.

Cowden's examples include the heroines of Sleepless in Seattle and The Mary Tyler More Show.

My immediate thought is J.K. Rowling's Ginny Weasley. She's lively and witty, but got the cute little sister rap for five books. ""Ginny, don't call Ron a prat, you're not the captain of this team—" "Well, you seemed too busy to call him a prat and I thought someone should.""

Ginny's spunk makes her a fun (and even enviable) character. People like me wish we could speak our thoughts with such ease. Again, I find her most interesting when she is doing something different—Serious, instead of funny. In these moments she proves that spunk can be steel if need be.



The Free Spirit

The Free Spirit is characterized by her whimsical nature. She doesn't feel dictated to or confined by society because she does her own thing. Think inside the box? What box! She's all about the journey, self-expression, and tends to have a rosy world-view. Still, this can get her into trouble when she tries to "help" others, becoming a bit too meddlesome. She doesn't really think ahead, but why worry?

Try Goldie Hawn in HouseSitter: "I just wanted to see what it would be like to live in that picture. " or Amy Adams in Enchanted: "Giselle: Now if only I can find a place to rest my head for the night. Robert: What kind of place? Giselle: I don't know. Maybe a nearby meadow or a hollow tree. " Some also cite Jane Austen's Emma Woodhouse, "Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. "

These women can be annoying, but what about Jerry Spinelli's Stargirl: “I’m not my name. My name is something I wear, like a shirt. It gets worn. I outgrow it, I change it.” or "I root for everybody!“

With the whimsy comes a sincere kindness that can be viewed as strength. These women dare to be different.



The Waif

Here's a character that makes Feminists grind their teeth! The classic pure innocent, she always needs to be rescued. Often insecure, instead of taking action, her strength is found in endurance. Still, while wielding a sword would be her last option, that doesn't mean she wouldn't be good at it.

Waifs are probably the most difficult to write for a modern audience. Immature Waifs (like Mia Thermopolis from The Princess Diaries, and Bella Swan from Twilight) have been found annoying (though Mia tends to get off the hook by constantly whining about how she should be like Hilary Clinton, Beyoncé, and other good role models).

Sucessful Waif characters seem to need an excuse for their status of inactivity, such as a cultural concern.

Two of Cowden's examples, the title characters of Sabrina and Jane Eyre, are at a distinct social and financial disadvantage. In addition, Jane fell for her employer in a time where women had little to now power, so that complicates things further.

Yet I find Jane Eyre to be quite heroic. Maybe you wanted her to tell Mr. Rochester to go to Hell, but Jane did what I would have done in her situation. She waited for him to say his piece and then calmly told him she could not, would not, stay and stole away in the night. She endures hunger and homlessness, on her own terms, in favor of comfort and love on terms she could never consider without degredation.

"Gentle reader, may you never feel what I then felt...May you never appeal to Heaven in prayers so hopeless and so agonized as in that hour left my lips; for never may you, like me, dread to be the instrument of evil to what you wholly love."


If that's not strength, I don't know what is.

(Still, do you think a modern audience would stand for a modern woman acting in such a way without an "excuse" like Jane's?)


(EDIT: Apparently the article I read was from an early draft. Cowden now sites Jane Eyre as a LIBRARIAN. Need another example of a Waif? Try Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz)


The Librarian

She's orderly, controlled, and knows she's intelligent (even if no one else does). She's stubborn and self-reliant, taking care of herself with her brains, not her looks. Often practical to the point of impatience, The Librarian knows what is proper, and will generally make sure everyone else does too.

Yes, you guessed it, Cowden named this Archetype after Marion the Librarian from The Music Man.

"As long as the Madison Public Library was entrusted

To me for the purpose of improving River City's cultural level,

I can't help my concern that the Ladies of River City

Keep ignoring all my council and advice. "


One of my favorite Librarians, of course, is Hermione Granger. "You're saying it wrong," Harry heard Hermione snap. "It's Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa, and make the 'gar' nice and long."

A know-it-all can be annoying, but don't we love watching them grow out of their frosty exterior?



The Crusader

The Crusader lives for her Mission (whatever that may be) so if you stand in her way, be prepared to face the consequences. Not afraid to get her hands dirty, you will find her in the thick of things. She's stubborn and feisty, and never takes a vacation.

Most Comicbook heroines are Crusaders, along with Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, and (probably the most famous Crusader) Princess Leia, "I don't know who you are or where you've come from, but from now on you'll do as I say. "


Crusaders, like Bosses, are wonderfully intimidating. One needs them for their passion and direction, but no one is ever as committed as they are.



The Nurturer


The Nurturer isn't necessarily a homemaker. She cheerfully takes care of EVERYONE. A happy ending isn't good enough unless it applies to her family and friends as well. With her composure and patient ear she will listen to, and generally solve, everyone's problems. With loyalty to the point of stubbornness, she'll protect those she cares about. When others are with her, they're in good hands, and they might just get cookies!

Examples of Nurturers include the helping, healing Vianne Rocher in the book Chocolat and Mary Poppins: "Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking."


While often losing themselves by becoming too entrenched in the problems of others, no one can deny that Nurturers are strong. Imagine a mama bear, fiercely protecting her cubs. Perhaps it was a Nurturer screaming, "Not my daughter, you b****!" as she jumped into the fray, weapon drawn. These are the moments we look forward to, when the Nurturer's calmness gives way to her need to protect.



In conclusion, I find that what makes a character interesting and inspiring (to me) is not necessarily strength, but maturity. Maturity, in my opinion, being the ability to step outside ones comfort zone, and do something necessary, but hard. If a character is always mouthing off, perhaps she will learn to stop and think, if she is quiet and unassuming, perhaps she will learn to stick up for herself. We look for these changes, and we rejoice in them, because than we now have something for which to admire the heroines.


Well, that turned out completely different from how I had anticipated, but I have some questions for you followers (and hopefully blogstalkers :)

Can you guess which Archetypes I identify with the most? (Hint: They're the ones I spent the most time justifying, lol)
Can you guess which Archetypes I identify with the least?
What Archetype are you? (If you're having trouble deciding, try the Facebook Quiz I made)

Perspective

People I Know who are Pregnant:

My Visiting Teacher
My Cousin Victoria
My Cousin Ellen
My Other Mary
Her Sister-in-Law
My Best Friend
Her Cousin
A Friend that I don't know if I'm allow to tell people about yet....
A Friend from High School that I haven't Seen for a While
A Girl My Husband Used to Like
(Some I forgot/didn't know about) Tonya, Chiemi, Kim....I'll think of more later, I'm sure. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.


People I Know who Desperately Want to Have a Baby, but Can't, so are Trying to Adopt:

My Friend from College and his Wife



People I Know who are Silly, Impatient, and Getting Ahead of Themselves:

me



*Please take a moment to review my friend's adoption profile, maybe even post it on your blog. The sooner the word is out, the sooner their dreams will come true.

Confessions of a Bruised Mind

I slept in today.

What is it about a bed that makes one feel safe?

Sleep is safe, but

Closed eyes? Alone in a bed?

What's so safe about that?


And yet

I prolong it.


The alarm keeps going

And I

Keep hitting snooze.


Finally, a different phone sound

Curiosity, my saving virtue

Who has texted me?


So I am distracted and, before I know it

Officially awake.

Check something off my list.


Pills, fiber, those are easy,

No thought required.


And then I head back to bed.


Because there is another thing that happens near that location

But I'm trying not to think about it.


See, the thing is,

It's really hard to pretend when you pray.

And

If I let my guard down

I'll start crying.


I'd probably feel better

But I'd also be caught

Once again

In the never-ending cycle


It's easier to get distracted

To get caught up in the magic of words

And turn fear into poetry

Cause a poem can't hurt


Except

My eyes are full

Why do I always write when I am unhappy?

It seems to me that when my life shatters around me (even in a small way), I pick up the pieces, arrange them in a pleasing fashion, and then send them out into the oblivion of the internet. This somehow both makes me feel better as well as feel heard....which is funny, cause I only know of one person who regularly reads this blog.

And I don't do it for her, though I like it when she reads. Mostly, I find myself hoping that those who read it are time wasters I do not know, who, when they do (or sometimes do not) have a few minutes, give in to that siren above labeled "Next Blog."

It's like a roulette wheel isn't it? You never know what could happen. Sure you get stuff in Japanese, or someone trying to sell you performance enhancing drugs, but sometimes you find small gems, miracles even.

Maybe I'm addicted because I hit the jack-pot my first time? See the link on the side? To the Librarian's site? She's awesome! Because of her, I will have recommended titles to last my whole life!

So I guess I like to pretend that other people play roulette too, and that they find my blog. In my head, they read everything, enjoy it, think I'm unique (that's very important in many of my fantasies) etc.

I guess this is the essence of what appeals to me about blogging. It's a safe way to share my near-deepest secrets/fledgling artistic impulses with some people I know and, somehow, everyone I don't know.

Beyond that, it gives my writing purpose. It can feel fruitless otherwise.

So why am I writing tonight? Because I had an emotional crisis this week? I did actually, but I didn't write about it, I told my boyfriend instead.

I think I'm writing, slightly, because I miss it, partially, because I was inspired by the author of Awkward Things, and, mostly, because my boyfriend is in Utah and I have nothing to do on a three-day weekend!

How pathetic that sounds.


But still, it is annoying to have your love/therapist/chief source of entertainment fly away when you're on holiday.



.....I guess what I'm saying is, I'd like to apologize to you, my invisible, yet assuredly intelligent, friends for not posting much lately. Everything that has happened to me lately has been either excruciating and therefore artistic energy sapping (very few things), or peaceful and wonderful (most things).


So guess what World Wide Web? I'm in love.


....Not that anyone's paying attention.