Scrapblog.com, My New Favorite Thing

Thanks to Kellie, I was able to figure out how to beautify my blog! The Background is from thecutestblogontheblock.com and my banner is a template from scrapblog.com.

Scrapblog is so fun! I have unleashed my inner collage artist, and after taking my header almost completely as is (I only changed the text and pictures) I was ready to do one from scratch.


Here is the result. I am rather proud of it. It took FOREVER, but I am really happy with the way it looks (all the images are from their site, but I placed them, layered them, and chose the opacity, size, etc.). If you can't see it very well, the larger version is here.

Perspective

People I Know who are Pregnant:

My Visiting Teacher
My Cousin Victoria
My Cousin Ellen
My Other Mary
Her Sister-in-Law
My Best Friend
Her Cousin
A Friend that I don't know if I'm allow to tell people about yet....
A Friend from High School that I haven't Seen for a While
A Girl My Husband Used to Like
(Some I forgot/didn't know about) Tonya, Chiemi, Kim....I'll think of more later, I'm sure. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.


People I Know who Desperately Want to Have a Baby, but Can't, so are Trying to Adopt:

My Friend from College and his Wife



People I Know who are Silly, Impatient, and Getting Ahead of Themselves:

me



*Please take a moment to review my friend's adoption profile, maybe even post it on your blog. The sooner the word is out, the sooner their dreams will come true.

What Twilight Should Have Been

I've been thinking about Twilight lately.

Yeah, I know, I need a new topic. But after being secretly obsessed with those books, I've been trying to both justify my reaction, and figure out how I feel about the books now.

I have already dealt with the some of the Questionable Content in Twilight. As well as the Reason Why People Read it. Today, I'm going to quickly examine the literary merits of the book, and then explain what form it could, and perhaps should, have taken.

One thing that helped me understand my own veiw, was going to amazon.com and reading the reviews of others. Not the paltry ones from "Twi-hards" or haters (which generally focus entirely on story content and whether they loved or hated it), but the meaty ones that are written with thought (and allude to the author's skill). I especially like the 3/5 stars entries, because there I generally find reviews I agree with. These often point out the same flaws/strengths. Elizabeth Spires, reviewing for the New York Times, got it right.

"The premise of "Twilight" is attractive and compelling — who hasn't fantasized about unearthly love with a beautiful stranger? — but the book suffers at times from overearnest, amateurish writing. A little more "showing" and a lot less "telling" might have been a good thing, especially some pruning to eliminate the constant references to Edward's shattering beauty and Bella's undying love."

The way I see it, Twilight suffers from two main things.

It Lacks Plot. If you can be satisfied to follow every minute detail of a heroine's mental agony over new love (as apparently I can), then you'll enjoy Twilight. The book does not offer as much in the way of life events, as it does in mental/emotional events. Also, it is a very linear book. Bella has one problem and, as soon as it is resolved, another problem enters to take it's place.

The Main Characters Aren't Sympethetic. Those who view books critically tend to find Bella annoying and weak, and Edward abusive. Those who, like me, take characters at face value on a first read, found them to be exactly what Stephenie Meyer intended. Bella is supposed to have a quiet strength. She rarely stands up for herself or speaks her mind but, in the end, she always does what she thinks is right. Edward is supposed to be the strong intellectual that burns with such passion he will stand in the way of anything that threaten's Bella's safety (including Bella herself). The problem lies, as Elizabeth Spires said, in too much telling, and not enough showing. People like me tend to believe everything they are told (unless there is obvious evidence to the contrary), but to about half the population, seeing is believing. So while I find that Bella and Edward's relationship is reminicent of Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester's (INFJ + ENTJ), many people find the whole thing to be a disgusting, anti-feminist travesty. In the end, perhaps they are right.

Obviously, the fatal flaw in my Jane Eyre argument is that, in that story, Jane was the one strong enough to leave a bad situation, while in Twilight's sequal, it is Edward that leaves.



Now, on to the THE POINT of my post (yes, I know I always take too long to arrive, but in case you haven't noticed, it's the journey, the "rising action" that I enjoy).


What should Twilight have been? No plot? Flat characters? I'd have thought it was obvious.




Twilight Should have been an Opera

Remember those famous lines from Phantom (Which, incidentally, is not an opera)?

You'd never get away
with all this in a play,
but if it's loudly sung
and in a foreign tongue
it's just the sort of story
audiences adore,
in fact a perfect opera!

Traditional opera is a combination of two kinds of singing: Recititive and Aria. Recititive is singing where the melody mimics human speech patterns. It is the conversations, the dialogue, and what moves the action in an opera. Arias are moments in time. Traditionally, they are supposed to explore a single emotion. They do not move the plot forward, but instead are a probe of some aspect of the human experience. (Which is why people take so long to die in operas, they're exploring their final emotion.)

Twilight is full of emotional probes.

Imagine the selections on the soundtrack?
An Aria for Bella, "L'amour est un brillant poitrine".
And one for Edward, "Qu'est-ce qu'elle pense en ce moment?"
And while we're at it, how about Charlie? "S'il vous plaît, rester loin de ma fille!"

No? No opera?

Fine.




Twilight Should have been a Poem

Imagine if Stephenie Meyer had chosen a more abstract method to catalogue her famous dream? Instead of creating characters that made her curious to explore their lives, she could have focused on the strong emotions involved, written a page a verse, and been done.

I'm no poet, but here's what I came up with in a few minutes:

Green leaves cover death
secret song thrums through veins to capture heart
darkness never looked so bright

breath steals it's last moment
Life lives it's fullest
thinking
perhaps
it has come to an end

Heart stopped by absence....
or presence

What would you decide?


Not very good, but I could keep at it and make it better.
My friend, though he hated the movie, was somehow inspired by the concept. He came home and wrote a creeptastically chilling love song. Someday, when it's online, I'll link it here, but for now, you'll have to make do with my attempt.


Alright, now, I know you might not like poetry, so here's my favorite thought:



Twilight Should have been a BALLET

Imagine! No dialogue! No characters agonizing over their faults while the audience completely agrees. No constant discriptions of Edward's beauty! Physical beauty could be successfully portrayed by the (statistically) gay man in the part. It wouldn't be weird that he takes his shirt off, because it'll actually help us see the lines of his movement! And Bella would never have to remind us how clumsy she is.

Ballets have a tradition of romance and the supernatural, and can also do well in industrialized settings (wish I could have seen Matthew Bourne's Cinderella, set in WWII Britain, when it was here in LA).

Bella and Edward's danger laden passion could have been exemplified in beautiful, tension filled pas de deux ("step of two," a dancer's duet, if you will). And imagine the high school scenes! I can picture the intricate chaos between classes, the shy and clumsy Bella, unaware of her effect on those around her. And don't forget pas d'action! The romance would probably not take as long, so we could skip ahead to an Allegro fight scene with James.

How else can we ladies talk our men into going to the ballet?



I'll make a poll. Let me know which you think Twilight should have been.



P.S. I've never tried to get my husband to go to a ballet, but he took ballet in college and I go to Clippers' games with him, so maybe I should try it....

KB Award

So I won this award:


Another blogger tagged me with the following award:

(Rich at GET OFFLINE AND GO OUTSIDE)

The purpose of this award is to let you know that you must post a short list of things you "love" to help your readers get to know you better. Rejecting the award is not an option, besides who'd want to reject attention and glamour anyway?

Here is my list:

1. I love NPR. My brother got me hooked on it last year. I know people complain about it (it's too liberal, it's too boring) but I love the intelligent hosts, interesting stories, and impressive guests. And hey, at least they try to be neutral. They have a very non-confrontational, calm style that took getting used to, but I really like. My favorite shows are probably All Things Considered and The Story. My local station is KPCC. Gotta love Airtalk and The Patt Morrison Blog! Seriously, where can you find such a comprehensive look at local, national, and internationsl news, along with science, the arts, and a bunch of random stuff you never knew you were interested it!

2. I love Explaining. I don't love discipline, grading, record keeping, planning, or anything else that teachers do, that's why I decided not to be a teacher. But I LOVE to explain, to tell stories, make analogies, help others understand. Yesterday I taught some little kids a bible story, it was awesome. I love translating thoughts into words my audience can understand. Because of this, I also love acting, singing, puppetry, and story-telling. I even like reading the instructions for a new board game, so I can be the one to sum it up for eveyone else.

3. I love shirt.woot.com. From the weird designs, to the crazy filters and lame controversies (okay, so maybe I'm not that fond of those). Seriously, I waste so much time on that site. Everyday a new shirt comes on sale. That shirt costs ten dollars for 24 hours only, and after that it's fifteen, but only until it falls below the top twenty best sellers on the site. Then it is axed. Forever. Monday-Thursday are suprises. The site chooses designs that have been submitted to them by artists. Friday-Sunday the shirts printed are the winners of The Derby. Anyone can enter the derby. They post a theme every Thursday at noon, and then you can start submitting designs on Friday at noon. You can keep submitting till the following Thursday, but you have to get votes, so it's best to submit on Friday (or Saturday). I just love to see what the artist's come up with. My favorite Artist on the site goes by BootsBoots. But her real name is Jamie Melani Marshall. She's hilarious and amazingly talented, and we seem to have a lot in common so I joked that I we should be best friends, and she agreed, ahuhu.

4. I love Reading. Well, duh. But seriously, it's AMAZING. I get so into a story, and then I just can't stop reading (that's why I don't read as much as I did). Blogging is easier on my lifestyle because blogs come in single servings. It's amazing to make friends with fictional characters. I've found heroes, kindred spirits, and siblings: Thomas and Charlotte Pitt, Jane Eyre, Anne Shirley, Stargirl, Anne Eliott, Taran of Caer Dalben, Margaruite Blakeney, and countless others!

There is something about books that makes you feel powerful. You get to be someone else, see the world in a new light, have new talents and strengths. You also get the high of rising action and mystery. In the end, it's an escapist thing. I get to step away from any problems or stress I have, and go somewhere else: mentally and emotionally. Cause that's where I really live. Not in California, but in my head.

5. I love taking and discussing Personality Tests. I know, I know, they're not always accurate, they can cause you to self-fufill, mis-judge people etc. etc. etc. But I still love them. Probably because I love talking about myself, and also because I like to find out what makes people tick. My favorites are the Myers-Briggs Temperment Indicator, Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences, and (yes, groan) The Color Code. Occasionally, I even like those silly quizzes on quizilla etc. So what am I? I am an Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiver (INFP) the Jungian Shadow of the western world, I have strengths in Music, then Language, and weaknesses as a Naturalist, and then Kinesthetic (Full results here), I am a White with Blue. I've scored in some silly tests as: Marge, Yoda, Remus Lupin, and Gamma.

6. I love Costumes. I am forever wasting money at thrift stores on crazy dresses I may never get the chance to wear....but I still collect them. When we finally have a house of our own, Chris and I will proabably dedicate the garage to our crazy finds. Whether it be a three peice austrian suit (him), or a yellow '60s prom dress (me). Some of my favorite finds include: A girtle from the 1950s in the original packaging, A black, floor-length dress with a wide empire waist that looks like it's from the '40s but is acutally from the '80s, and an intricately sequined butterfly shawl.



Okay, well, surpisingly enough, I could go on! #7 would have been about Ireland, but I need to go.

I bestow this auspicious award upon CuteCultureChick, Ms. Liz, and Tyro Erudition. Consider yourself tagged ladies!

My Favorite Redheads

It's a fact. I have always wanted to be a redhead. It is simply unfair! What is the purpose of this complexion, if not to be rewarded with red hair! Still, I do love my dark locks, it's just difficult when all the greats are redheads!

Some of these were my childhood heroes or friends, some are new acquaintances.


Redheads in Fact:

*Elizabeth I (A Fabulous Female! Talk about power and not letting anyone control your destiny)
*Katherine Hepburn (I love a gutsy lady! My favorite actress of all time, she could do drama or comedy)
*Vincent Van Gogh (one of, if not the, greatest painters of all time. I know Starry Night is over-used but, seriously, have you seen it? Also, just had to share, my husband recently purchased this lovely alternate Van Gogh shirt: a "what if" affair.)


Redheads in Fiction:

*All the Weasleys, especially Ron and Ginny ....and the twins...and well....all of them.
*Dr. Crusher (These commercials brought to you by the airforce. That's right kids, stay in school and you might get to meet aliens one day! ahuhu)
*Anne of Green Gables (best moment at 1:45) (Is it weird that I've felt spiritually uplifted from reading these books? And also from the first two movies? Anne is my hero!)
*Mara Jade (Proof that I am an uber dork! Another redhead that kicks serious butt! There's something awesome about a badguy that doesn't know they're really a goodguy. If you like Star Wars, don't read any SW book that isn't written by Timothy Zahn.) (if you click the above link, you will see that I am not as big a fan as I thought!)
*Freckles, the sweet Irish orphan with an angel's voice, he triumphed over his disability and background to gain his heart's dearest wishes while teaching me the beauty, power, and sacredness of nature.


Fact/Fiction:

*Mr. Bingley, as portrayed by Simon Woods, did not fit into the fact OR fiction category, so I've placed him here. (I'll never forget when Grannie turned to me in the theatre and said, "Who is that actor?" "I don't know," I replied. She paused, "He's very lovely, isn't he?" Yes Grannie. He certainly is.

Great Characters Portrayed by the Perfect Actors

I used to call it a crush, but that was before I'd actually had one of those. I guess it's a movie-star crush, cause I only get it with guys.

It's the power of a great actor portraying a great character.


The first one was funny and sweet Bill Pullman in While You Were Sleeping:





I thought he was my favorite actor, but his only other movie I really like is Spaceballs.


Next came Matthew Broderick in Ladyhawke (Despite the score, huhu) . Skip to time 5:40:






When I finally saw Farris Beuller's Day Off, my crush was killed. (Maybe it was just the accent)



Then along came Jeremy Northam in Emma. This time I thought I was in love with the character....but then I read the book. That's when I realized....it has to be both!





Jeremy Northam is the master of "The Secret Look." If you want some poor girl to fall in love with you, give her that look in front of her friend so she'll hear about it later. She can't think you're doing it on purpose.

Northam uses it to great advantage in The Winslow Boy (skip to 2:25):






Unfortunately, I could only find this clip. He does it even better later on in the film (Which actually has very little romance, so it's great that what they do include is so well done.)


The next closest would have to be Edward Norton in Fight Club (but that might just be because he looks like my husband):






What is it about social diviance that is so attractive!


Finally, my new favorite: The creatively clever out-of-work spy Michael Weston from TV's Burn Notice (Actor Jeffery Donovan). He's got this great dry sarcasm....he's taught us fans so much (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGU8CkOG9a8), and best of all, he knows how to Suit Up! This is the only clip I could find:






I've never enjoyed violence so much!






New episodes start THURSDAY!!!!

Something a Little Different

There is only one way to know for sure if you are one of Them.


Some people go their whole lives and never know, because they are never summoned. They suspect, because they have always felt different, special, but they never know for certain. They die alone, cursing The People who should have been their family, never realizing that it is their own fault.

You will never be summoned until you are ready.

And even then, you have to be alert, on your toes. They only give so many chances. After all, what is the point of teaching a student who does not wish to learn?

One day, when you feel particularly alone, you will realize that you've never been alone in your entire life, and, as you look around for Those that are watching you, you will see it, and your breath will catch in your throat at the familiarity in its eyes.

It has been waiting for you.

The Pard are an ancient race, ancestors of the average house cat. They first came to the Ancient Cornish, looking for allies. It was they who set the stones, enabling mankind to reach their land, if only in dreams. A chosen man or woman's spirit may pass through Men-an-Tol only in the deepest of sleeps.

Many men and women desperately trace their history to Cornwall, citing Cornish diaspora as evidence of their own power, but power cannot be claimed, merely bridled. Only when it is tame can it be trained.

The sooner you realize this, the sooner They will come.

There is great discrepancy about timing in these situations. Some say you must greet the Cat on your first meeting, others that it wishes for the respect of patience.

But when you meet your Pard, you will know.

It will be walking parallel to you, on the opposite side of the street, or perhaps sitting on a bench across a garden, looking for all the world like an innocent, average cat.

It might even be a Cat you know, one you've seen in your present or past. It was your best friend's lost kitty, or your grandmother's spoiled empress.

Or it may be a Cat you have never laid eyes on.

In any case, it will be staring, and you must stare back. Breathe slowly, and do not blink. Show it that you are unlearned, but not unequal. Take first one step, then another. The Cat, if it is a Cat, will remain frozen, waiting for you. You must continue in exactly a straight line.

When you are a single pace away, drop to your knees without breaking eye-contact. Now, you must wait. I do not know how long, but in the proper moment, for the first time in your life, you will See.

Only then, is it safe to touch the Cat (they enjoy being scratched behind the ears like any mammal).


That night you will begin your education, your real life.



Congratulations.


~~O~~

I was twelve when the cat first came. She was young and lithe, and belonged to the neighbors two doors down. She had a unique coat, with a single wide stripe running down her spine and along her tail, dark grey on light.

I didn't know tame cats had spots.

Occasionally I would see her watching me and, somehow, I knew what to do.

It took a few tries, she would leave before I arrived, or I'd blink and she'd be gone, but one day, she let me come.

I don't know why I was on the other side of the street that day, I'd long since given up my acquaintance with the girls there, they did not understand nor like me, and we had little in common. I still liked them, but I liked everyone. I was too old to be out playing, so I must have been on my way to my grandmother's, but why on the opposite side of the street?

She was in front of the two-story home next to Grandma's, watching me again, waiting for me again.

I took my first step, leaving the sidewalk, praying that no cars would come and disturb my path. I continued with shallow breath, heart pounding all the same, and my progress was so slow, too slow.

I began to panic, willing her to wait, wait until I could get there. I had never been so close before, so sure. I arrived in front of her, hardly knowing what would happen, just that Something surely would!

I knelt before her and, as I reached for her, she stalked away, casually, looking at me with an indifference that had no concept of the magnitude of my situation.

Was that it? I asked. Was that enough?



But my desperate heart knew the answer,
and I dreamed no dreams that night.


~~O~~




Perhaps there were a few more Cats in my life, but they all seem so ordinary now. In the last ten years I have moved four times, each time feeling farther and farther from certainty and humanity. I see only ordinary cats, but occasionally I dream that they are more, only to awake and realize that if they were, they wouldn't want me.