In the meantime: Riddles!

While you wait for me to stop procrastinating write your poems, here are some riddles to keep you busy! If you are the first to solve, there may even be a prize!


___________________________________________________

I

Vanguard of my family, Crowded by my enemy

Known for equanimity, Home to anemone

II

Chosen to complete my task

Trained in service while at home

To serve my liege is all I ask

Soon I’ll be allowed to roam

And join my sisters in their quest

Learn to dance the aged routine

Seek and find gold without rest

And offer treasure to my Queen.

Note: Using google is cheating, but collaborating with a friend is teamwork!

Poetry on Demand

I'm trying to be more creative, and so I'm asking for your help with an experiment.

Do you think I could write poetry on demand? Let's find out.


Please comment and I will do my best to write about you (or another person/subject of your choice).


If I don't know you, leave your blog address so I can do a little spying.


I think poetry (of all kinds) is eminently appropriate for the Valentine's season, don't you?



WARNING: These poems will most likely be abstract, confusing drabbles. I can't help how my mind works!

Byronic: Jane Eyre as told by Alanis Morissette

If you're not familiar with Alanis Morissette, you can listen to the original here.

And in case you wanna sing along, here's the karaoke version:




(Spoilers ahead)

"Byronic"

A young man brooded alone
Waiting for someone to speak to his soul
Until here you come a quiet fool
And before you know it into his arms you’ve flown
And isn't it Byronic... don't you think

Then a man shows up on your wedding day
Your dreams are shattered cause your fiancé
Has a wife in the attic that he’s hidden away
Who would've thought... it figures

No matter what you do what is right
You pack your suitcase and tell him goodbye
He’s so confident that you’ll do what he says
But you sneak out in the middle of the night
And isn't it Byronic... don't you think

Cause the man showed up on your wedding day
Your dreams were shattered cause your fiancé
Had a wife in the attic that he’d hidden away
Who would've thought... it figures

Tall, Dark, and Handsome face, doesn’t mean that it’s alright
When he won’t give you space, and has arrogance to match his charm
But ”Mad, Bad, and Dangerous” doesn’t mean he can’t love
You till the end of time and through all obstacles
In your way

A secret cousin who takes you in
A random inheritance gives you freedom from him
Then you’re hearing voices that change your life
Your love’s been blinded by a fire
Set by his crazy wife
And isn't it Byronic...don't you think?
A little too Byronic...and, yeah, I really do think...

When that man showed up on your wedding day
And dreams were shattered cause your fiancé
Had a wife in the attic that he’d hidden away
You should've thought... it figures

Tall, Dark, and Handsome face haunting your dreams at night
”Mad, Bad, and Dangerous” ways telling you he’s no white knight
He’s no white knight

Waiting

I have a warm place.

Dark


Quiet



Safe




and Empty.



Waiting just for you.




___________________________________________________

Warning: The following discusses two medical conditions (though neither very graphically).



I had that thought during Sacrament meeting yesterday, "I have a warm place." It was a bittersweet feeling. This week I had what is termed a 'Chemical Pregnancy.' That's when you have a miscarriage at less than five weeks along. I took my test on Monday, when I was maybe six. The positive reading was a surprise (because of the bleeding) but I didn't really get the chance to be excited. By the end of work, I guessed I would miscarry. The cramps were so strong.

I would feel fine in the mornings, and then horrible in the evenings. Finally, on Wednesday, I started having large clots (the shedding lining). Once they were passed, I felt normal again. I'm okay now, but I still have to take it easy. On Thursday I was bending over (picking stuff up) and it caused me some pain. I think that's probably passed now, but I'm still feeling a bit sick. However, I think that's my digestion issues. Something's going on there, but I'm not sure what. It's like my entire tract (from the stomach down) is sensitive. I feel fine till I eat, and then it hurts all the way down. It's worse if it's sugary, greasy food, but it hurts no matter what.

Emotionally, I'm okay. That first night (last Monday) I was calm till I talked to my mom. I could hear the sincere pity in her voice. It made me feel a little doomed. Then I asked Chris to give me a blessing. In the prayer beforehand, I asked the Lord for guidance, and for truth. After the blessing, I told Chris I should have been more specific about the kind of truth I wanted! I wanted to know if I needed to go to the hospital, He told me I needed to have faith and be joyful. I wanted to know the future of this baby, He told me that my children love me, and will come to me at the appointed time. By the end, I realized that things could go either way, and, somehow, that was less comforting than before.

I couldn't deal with it, so we watched Wives and Daughters. I was better after that, struggling to have faith, to not feel sorry for myself. It was an up and down day.

Still, yesterday, Father's Day, I had that moment, I wrote my Haiku, and it must have given me a little eternal perspective, because during the closing Hymn, O My Father, I felt kind of homesick. I love music because it teaches you emotions. I really felt along with Eliza R. Snow this time. I missed Him too.

O my Father, thou that dwellest

In the high and glorious place,

When shall I regain thy presence

And again behold thy face?

...

For a wise and glorious purpose (!!)

Thou hast placed me here on earth

And withheld the recollection

Of my former friends and birth;

...

I had learned to call thee Father,

Thru thy Spirit from on high,

But, until the key of knowledge

Was restored, I knew not why.

In the heav’ns are parents single?

No, the thought makes reason stare!

Truth is reason; truth eternal

Tells me I’ve a mother there.

When I leave this frail existence,

When I lay this mortal by,

Father, Mother, may I meet you

In your royal courts on high?

Then, at length, when I’ve completed

All you sent me forth to do,

With your mutual approbation

Let me come and dwell with you.

It's like I told Chris later that day. That's it! That's the reason. We come to this earth to be parents, to create life!

This time is a time of creation. Whatever we make of ourselves, what relationships we make, pieces of art, what children we make, what spaces, what times, what happiness. That's what it's about.


And that's what I want to do.


Father, help me not to be idle while I wait.

Resolution Pt. Two

Naw, you guys don't wanna hear about my health problems and how I'm doing a little bit better, do you?

How about instead I give you a sneak peek into the Broadway Musical I'm writing? It's about an Enchanted, but Cursed Castle.


Cue Intro Music (This video has the perfect mood music, it's just how I imagined!) Read the opening narration, while it plays.






NARRATOR: Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he enjoyed good health and everything else his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old, sickly woman came to the castle and offered him a single roll of toilet paper in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her ugliness and flatulence, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by smells, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress that smelled of roses. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no catharsis in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed his bowels into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous stomach, and putrid smell, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The roll she had offered was truly an enchanted roll, which would last until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last sheet was used, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a constipated beast for all time. As the years passed, his proctitis turned to colitis, and his colitis to crohn's, and he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?

---

Here's the lyrics to one of the completed songs:

Pooping Again, Written by Mary Sanders

Dedicated to Any and Every One who suffers from Crohn’s, Colitis, Proctitis, or IBS

---

LUMIERE

Ha ha, yes, my friends.
The day we have waited for may be at hand!

MRS. POTTS

Oh, only if that were true, Lumiere!

LUMIERE

Aaah...pooping again

MRS. POTTS

Pooping again

LUMIERE

Yes, think of what that means!

LUMIERE

I'll be cooking again
Be good-looking again
With a mademoiselle on each arm
When I'm pooping again
Only pooping again
Free of gas and gleaming with charm...
I'll be courting again
Chic and sporting again

MRS. POTTS

Without causing the ladies alarm!

CHIP

I'll hop into the loo

LUMIERE

And toute suite take a poo

CHIP

I can't wait to be pooping again

MME. DE LA GRANDE BOUCHE, MRS. POTTS ,BABETTE

When we're pooping again
Only pooping again
When our bodies start working once more

CHIP

Little push to begin
It could, whoosh, fall right in!

MME. DE LA GRANDE BOUCHE

Ah, cherie, won't it all be top-drawer
I'll wear lipstick and rouge
And I won't feel so huge
Why, I'll comf'ly fit in tight clothes!
I won’t keep getting caught
Everyday
On the pot
It's my thought to be pooping again

COGSWORTH

When I'm pooping again
Only pooping again
When the world once more starts making sense
I'll unwind for a change

LUMIERE

Really? That'd be strange!

COGSWORTH

Can I help it if I'm t-t-tense?
In a shack by the seas
I'll sit back eating cheese
Let my early retirement commence
I'll forget my exlax
Have no stains on my slacks, and relax!

ALL

When I'm pooping again
So grab some pills from the drawer!
Avoid eating fried rice!
I can feel, I can tell
Something might break the spell
Any day now!


MRS. POTTS, EGG TIMER, WHISK

Open the cupboards and get out some Tums

MRS. POTTS

Pop these down so you don’t get the runs

ALL

Scoop up the years
Of bloating and tears
And flush them away!

ALL

When… We're… pooping again
Only pooping again
We'll be walking around with such ease
When we're pooping again
Only pooping again
And it just takes a quick one-two-three (One, two, three!)
No more groaning again!
No more Chrohning again!
We’ll be feeling as fine as you please
Like a cured human does
I'll be all that I was
On that glorious morn
When we're fin'lly reborn
And we're all of us pooping again!

---

You know me, I like to have lofty goals. One can dream, right?

Scrapblog.com, My New Favorite Thing

Thanks to Kellie, I was able to figure out how to beautify my blog! The Background is from thecutestblogontheblock.com and my banner is a template from scrapblog.com.

Scrapblog is so fun! I have unleashed my inner collage artist, and after taking my header almost completely as is (I only changed the text and pictures) I was ready to do one from scratch.


Here is the result. I am rather proud of it. It took FOREVER, but I am really happy with the way it looks (all the images are from their site, but I placed them, layered them, and chose the opacity, size, etc.). If you can't see it very well, the larger version is here.

What Twilight Should Have Been

I've been thinking about Twilight lately.

Yeah, I know, I need a new topic. But after being secretly obsessed with those books, I've been trying to both justify my reaction, and figure out how I feel about the books now.

I have already dealt with the some of the Questionable Content in Twilight. As well as the Reason Why People Read it. Today, I'm going to quickly examine the literary merits of the book, and then explain what form it could, and perhaps should, have taken.

One thing that helped me understand my own veiw, was going to amazon.com and reading the reviews of others. Not the paltry ones from "Twi-hards" or haters (which generally focus entirely on story content and whether they loved or hated it), but the meaty ones that are written with thought (and allude to the author's skill). I especially like the 3/5 stars entries, because there I generally find reviews I agree with. These often point out the same flaws/strengths. Elizabeth Spires, reviewing for the New York Times, got it right.

"The premise of "Twilight" is attractive and compelling — who hasn't fantasized about unearthly love with a beautiful stranger? — but the book suffers at times from overearnest, amateurish writing. A little more "showing" and a lot less "telling" might have been a good thing, especially some pruning to eliminate the constant references to Edward's shattering beauty and Bella's undying love."

The way I see it, Twilight suffers from two main things.

It Lacks Plot. If you can be satisfied to follow every minute detail of a heroine's mental agony over new love (as apparently I can), then you'll enjoy Twilight. The book does not offer as much in the way of life events, as it does in mental/emotional events. Also, it is a very linear book. Bella has one problem and, as soon as it is resolved, another problem enters to take it's place.

The Main Characters Aren't Sympethetic. Those who view books critically tend to find Bella annoying and weak, and Edward abusive. Those who, like me, take characters at face value on a first read, found them to be exactly what Stephenie Meyer intended. Bella is supposed to have a quiet strength. She rarely stands up for herself or speaks her mind but, in the end, she always does what she thinks is right. Edward is supposed to be the strong intellectual that burns with such passion he will stand in the way of anything that threaten's Bella's safety (including Bella herself). The problem lies, as Elizabeth Spires said, in too much telling, and not enough showing. People like me tend to believe everything they are told (unless there is obvious evidence to the contrary), but to about half the population, seeing is believing. So while I find that Bella and Edward's relationship is reminicent of Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester's (INFJ + ENTJ), many people find the whole thing to be a disgusting, anti-feminist travesty. In the end, perhaps they are right.

Obviously, the fatal flaw in my Jane Eyre argument is that, in that story, Jane was the one strong enough to leave a bad situation, while in Twilight's sequal, it is Edward that leaves.



Now, on to the THE POINT of my post (yes, I know I always take too long to arrive, but in case you haven't noticed, it's the journey, the "rising action" that I enjoy).


What should Twilight have been? No plot? Flat characters? I'd have thought it was obvious.




Twilight Should have been an Opera

Remember those famous lines from Phantom (Which, incidentally, is not an opera)?

You'd never get away
with all this in a play,
but if it's loudly sung
and in a foreign tongue
it's just the sort of story
audiences adore,
in fact a perfect opera!

Traditional opera is a combination of two kinds of singing: Recititive and Aria. Recititive is singing where the melody mimics human speech patterns. It is the conversations, the dialogue, and what moves the action in an opera. Arias are moments in time. Traditionally, they are supposed to explore a single emotion. They do not move the plot forward, but instead are a probe of some aspect of the human experience. (Which is why people take so long to die in operas, they're exploring their final emotion.)

Twilight is full of emotional probes.

Imagine the selections on the soundtrack?
An Aria for Bella, "L'amour est un brillant poitrine".
And one for Edward, "Qu'est-ce qu'elle pense en ce moment?"
And while we're at it, how about Charlie? "S'il vous plaît, rester loin de ma fille!"

No? No opera?

Fine.




Twilight Should have been a Poem

Imagine if Stephenie Meyer had chosen a more abstract method to catalogue her famous dream? Instead of creating characters that made her curious to explore their lives, she could have focused on the strong emotions involved, written a page a verse, and been done.

I'm no poet, but here's what I came up with in a few minutes:

Green leaves cover death
secret song thrums through veins to capture heart
darkness never looked so bright

breath steals it's last moment
Life lives it's fullest
thinking
perhaps
it has come to an end

Heart stopped by absence....
or presence

What would you decide?


Not very good, but I could keep at it and make it better.
My friend, though he hated the movie, was somehow inspired by the concept. He came home and wrote a creeptastically chilling love song. Someday, when it's online, I'll link it here, but for now, you'll have to make do with my attempt.


Alright, now, I know you might not like poetry, so here's my favorite thought:



Twilight Should have been a BALLET

Imagine! No dialogue! No characters agonizing over their faults while the audience completely agrees. No constant discriptions of Edward's beauty! Physical beauty could be successfully portrayed by the (statistically) gay man in the part. It wouldn't be weird that he takes his shirt off, because it'll actually help us see the lines of his movement! And Bella would never have to remind us how clumsy she is.

Ballets have a tradition of romance and the supernatural, and can also do well in industrialized settings (wish I could have seen Matthew Bourne's Cinderella, set in WWII Britain, when it was here in LA).

Bella and Edward's danger laden passion could have been exemplified in beautiful, tension filled pas de deux ("step of two," a dancer's duet, if you will). And imagine the high school scenes! I can picture the intricate chaos between classes, the shy and clumsy Bella, unaware of her effect on those around her. And don't forget pas d'action! The romance would probably not take as long, so we could skip ahead to an Allegro fight scene with James.

How else can we ladies talk our men into going to the ballet?



I'll make a poll. Let me know which you think Twilight should have been.



P.S. I've never tried to get my husband to go to a ballet, but he took ballet in college and I go to Clippers' games with him, so maybe I should try it....

Haiku Challenge

So I was playing around with Facebook and I made a penguin picture on Superwall....it reminded of a haiku I wrote in college that I was very proud of. Haiku are traditionally about nature, so we were asked to go through a National Graphic and choose something as our inspiration.

Here's where the challenge comes in! I'd like all of you to do the same. Just take a few minutes and either grab a magazine, or use google. Write a haiku about a picture you find. I couldn't find my original picture, but this one carries the feeling fairly well.

I like haiku....good ones are like See's Candy. Just take a few and savor the moment!





Here I go:





Black and White Romance

Cold air Cannot Cool ardor

Penguins are kissing







OK, now it's your turn!

Choosing the Right

Sometimes it's a comfort
to know you were right
all along
but sometimes
it'd be nice
if you were right right now
cause that would mean
you were
wrong last time

It isn't fun to doubt yourself
but sometimes it gives you hope
in things that cannot be
that you've already decided against
because it makes sense
to be against
that which makes sense
somehow

And logic votes both for and against
but instinct and God are conspiring
against loneliness
to keep you safe
from yourself
by yourself

and you yourself know
what you will do
because you make the same choice
every time
but you have to arrive
from a new place
with new tools
in a new mind
remembering right
again

Hannah wears a hat

Today I met Hannah, and now I cannot stop thinking about her. At first, I just looked and looked. I had heard of her, but was in no way prepared for the impression she made on me. I came home determined to learn more about her. Surely, all I had to do was google her name?




Hannah wears a hat

Hannah doesn't run, she rides

Hannah has her own space and everyone has to respect it

Hannah is petite

Hannah is always late

According to google, Hannah Wang is a model





***

Hannah wears a hat

because she has no hair

Hannah doesn't run, she rides

because her bones are brittle from osteoporosis

Hannah has her own space and everyone has to respect it

so they don't hurt her

Hannah is petite

because her body cannot grow the way it should

Hannah is always late

because a full day of school would be too taxing

Hannah Wang is a fourth grader, but google has never heard of her


Hannah Wang has progeria

Poem: Ready for More

Ready for More


I looked around at all the games

The shallow minds and youthful glances

They boggled my mind with their crazy choices

It didn't make any sense at all

And I said, I think I'm ready…

I am ready

For something better

Something bigger than this

I looked around at all the boys

A few actually worth a second look

This cheered me up and threw me down

And made me feel like a normal kid

And I thought, maybe I'm ready…

I am ready

For something better

Something bigger like this

I looked around at my old friend

I saw him with new eyes that day

He taught me joy that couldn't last

It somehow is better that way

I guess I wasn't ready…

I am ready

For something better

Something bigger than me

I looked around and saw my mom

I couldn't tell her what was in my heart

I wondered how, I could out grow

The woman who created me

So I think I must be ready…

Ready

I am ready

For something better

Something bigger than that

Waste no more time

Being comfortable

I am ready

Ready for more…

I am ready

I hope I'm ready…

Poem: Viscosity

Viscosity

Rising near the surface
Volcanic activity
Soul spilling forth

Out of control
Or truly honest?

Pyroclastic techniques
Brutal, but free
Till I slowly let it build again