My Favorite Redheads

It's a fact. I have always wanted to be a redhead. It is simply unfair! What is the purpose of this complexion, if not to be rewarded with red hair! Still, I do love my dark locks, it's just difficult when all the greats are redheads!

Some of these were my childhood heroes or friends, some are new acquaintances.


Redheads in Fact:

*Elizabeth I (A Fabulous Female! Talk about power and not letting anyone control your destiny)
*Katherine Hepburn (I love a gutsy lady! My favorite actress of all time, she could do drama or comedy)
*Vincent Van Gogh (one of, if not the, greatest painters of all time. I know Starry Night is over-used but, seriously, have you seen it? Also, just had to share, my husband recently purchased this lovely alternate Van Gogh shirt: a "what if" affair.)


Redheads in Fiction:

*All the Weasleys, especially Ron and Ginny ....and the twins...and well....all of them.
*Dr. Crusher (These commercials brought to you by the airforce. That's right kids, stay in school and you might get to meet aliens one day! ahuhu)
*Anne of Green Gables (best moment at 1:45) (Is it weird that I've felt spiritually uplifted from reading these books? And also from the first two movies? Anne is my hero!)
*Mara Jade (Proof that I am an uber dork! Another redhead that kicks serious butt! There's something awesome about a badguy that doesn't know they're really a goodguy. If you like Star Wars, don't read any SW book that isn't written by Timothy Zahn.) (if you click the above link, you will see that I am not as big a fan as I thought!)
*Freckles, the sweet Irish orphan with an angel's voice, he triumphed over his disability and background to gain his heart's dearest wishes while teaching me the beauty, power, and sacredness of nature.


Fact/Fiction:

*Mr. Bingley, as portrayed by Simon Woods, did not fit into the fact OR fiction category, so I've placed him here. (I'll never forget when Grannie turned to me in the theatre and said, "Who is that actor?" "I don't know," I replied. She paused, "He's very lovely, isn't he?" Yes Grannie. He certainly is.

Great Characters Portrayed by the Perfect Actors

I used to call it a crush, but that was before I'd actually had one of those. I guess it's a movie-star crush, cause I only get it with guys.

It's the power of a great actor portraying a great character.


The first one was funny and sweet Bill Pullman in While You Were Sleeping:





I thought he was my favorite actor, but his only other movie I really like is Spaceballs.


Next came Matthew Broderick in Ladyhawke (Despite the score, huhu) . Skip to time 5:40:






When I finally saw Farris Beuller's Day Off, my crush was killed. (Maybe it was just the accent)



Then along came Jeremy Northam in Emma. This time I thought I was in love with the character....but then I read the book. That's when I realized....it has to be both!





Jeremy Northam is the master of "The Secret Look." If you want some poor girl to fall in love with you, give her that look in front of her friend so she'll hear about it later. She can't think you're doing it on purpose.

Northam uses it to great advantage in The Winslow Boy (skip to 2:25):






Unfortunately, I could only find this clip. He does it even better later on in the film (Which actually has very little romance, so it's great that what they do include is so well done.)


The next closest would have to be Edward Norton in Fight Club (but that might just be because he looks like my husband):






What is it about social diviance that is so attractive!


Finally, my new favorite: The creatively clever out-of-work spy Michael Weston from TV's Burn Notice (Actor Jeffery Donovan). He's got this great dry sarcasm....he's taught us fans so much (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGU8CkOG9a8), and best of all, he knows how to Suit Up! This is the only clip I could find:






I've never enjoyed violence so much!






New episodes start THURSDAY!!!!

Something a Little Different

There is only one way to know for sure if you are one of Them.


Some people go their whole lives and never know, because they are never summoned. They suspect, because they have always felt different, special, but they never know for certain. They die alone, cursing The People who should have been their family, never realizing that it is their own fault.

You will never be summoned until you are ready.

And even then, you have to be alert, on your toes. They only give so many chances. After all, what is the point of teaching a student who does not wish to learn?

One day, when you feel particularly alone, you will realize that you've never been alone in your entire life, and, as you look around for Those that are watching you, you will see it, and your breath will catch in your throat at the familiarity in its eyes.

It has been waiting for you.

The Pard are an ancient race, ancestors of the average house cat. They first came to the Ancient Cornish, looking for allies. It was they who set the stones, enabling mankind to reach their land, if only in dreams. A chosen man or woman's spirit may pass through Men-an-Tol only in the deepest of sleeps.

Many men and women desperately trace their history to Cornwall, citing Cornish diaspora as evidence of their own power, but power cannot be claimed, merely bridled. Only when it is tame can it be trained.

The sooner you realize this, the sooner They will come.

There is great discrepancy about timing in these situations. Some say you must greet the Cat on your first meeting, others that it wishes for the respect of patience.

But when you meet your Pard, you will know.

It will be walking parallel to you, on the opposite side of the street, or perhaps sitting on a bench across a garden, looking for all the world like an innocent, average cat.

It might even be a Cat you know, one you've seen in your present or past. It was your best friend's lost kitty, or your grandmother's spoiled empress.

Or it may be a Cat you have never laid eyes on.

In any case, it will be staring, and you must stare back. Breathe slowly, and do not blink. Show it that you are unlearned, but not unequal. Take first one step, then another. The Cat, if it is a Cat, will remain frozen, waiting for you. You must continue in exactly a straight line.

When you are a single pace away, drop to your knees without breaking eye-contact. Now, you must wait. I do not know how long, but in the proper moment, for the first time in your life, you will See.

Only then, is it safe to touch the Cat (they enjoy being scratched behind the ears like any mammal).


That night you will begin your education, your real life.



Congratulations.


~~O~~

I was twelve when the cat first came. She was young and lithe, and belonged to the neighbors two doors down. She had a unique coat, with a single wide stripe running down her spine and along her tail, dark grey on light.

I didn't know tame cats had spots.

Occasionally I would see her watching me and, somehow, I knew what to do.

It took a few tries, she would leave before I arrived, or I'd blink and she'd be gone, but one day, she let me come.

I don't know why I was on the other side of the street that day, I'd long since given up my acquaintance with the girls there, they did not understand nor like me, and we had little in common. I still liked them, but I liked everyone. I was too old to be out playing, so I must have been on my way to my grandmother's, but why on the opposite side of the street?

She was in front of the two-story home next to Grandma's, watching me again, waiting for me again.

I took my first step, leaving the sidewalk, praying that no cars would come and disturb my path. I continued with shallow breath, heart pounding all the same, and my progress was so slow, too slow.

I began to panic, willing her to wait, wait until I could get there. I had never been so close before, so sure. I arrived in front of her, hardly knowing what would happen, just that Something surely would!

I knelt before her and, as I reached for her, she stalked away, casually, looking at me with an indifference that had no concept of the magnitude of my situation.

Was that it? I asked. Was that enough?



But my desperate heart knew the answer,
and I dreamed no dreams that night.


~~O~~




Perhaps there were a few more Cats in my life, but they all seem so ordinary now. In the last ten years I have moved four times, each time feeling farther and farther from certainty and humanity. I see only ordinary cats, but occasionally I dream that they are more, only to awake and realize that if they were, they wouldn't want me.

Insert Cheesy Title Here

I can barely describe the feeling I want to explain in this post.

Occasionally, I hear a piece of music, either instrumental or in a language I don't understand, that is SO pure....SO exquisite I simply want to....

Cry?

Melt?

Die?

Those aren't very positive words, but that's as close as I can come.... Something about these rare pieces make me want to change my physical form and....what? Leave my body and become the music? I don't know. All I know is that they make me feel large and small at once. Happy and sad.....but inspired, full of Light....and....peace.

Maybe that's it, Peace.


Whatever this phenomenon is, I'd like to share the melodies that cause it.

I first discovered the feeling while watching the Jody Foster movie Contact. I decided it was my favorite movie, and asked for the soundtrack for Christmas. I haven't seen the movie since, but the music, by Alan Silvestri (Beowulf, Forrest Gump, The Polar Express), still holds me in its power.

I couldn't find it online, but THIS cheesy website uses the main theme in the background. Incidentally, the site is called Pathways to Peace.

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Next, I was introduced to Howard Shore, and the magic simplicity of the Shire with: Concerning Hobbits. (See player below for the rest of the songs)

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Followed by Renata Tebaldi's O Mio Babbino Caro on Pavarotti's Opera Made Easy: My favorite Opera for Everyone. (I could not find that recording, but Sissel does a beautiful job. I also liked the Renee Fleming one, but her strong vibrato can distract from the purity of the sound.

Listen to those high notes! It just makes me feel....

I have no words.

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Next, representing my college years, we have Always with Me, from the Spirited Away Soundtrack. This woman wrote and performed the song, accompanying herself on the LYRE! She was a fan who sent her beautiful work to Mr. Miyazaki (The Disney of Japan--popularity wise, not style wise). It was inspired by a previous movie, but worked well for Spirited Away so it was included as the closing Theme.

You are not allowed to say you don't like Anime until you have seen at least two or three Miyazaki movies. Suggestions? Spirited Away (in English or Japanese), Castle in the Sky (Don't watch it in English, Mark Hamil as the bad guy is fun, but the rest is ridiculous), and Howl's Moving Castle (with the title character voiced by Christian Bale).

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Finally, we have the song I scoured the internet for all morning. Eventually, I found it by typing "Modern Traditional" in google. It has been stuck in my head for a few days, but I couldn't remember the name! I have heard it several times, originally on American Tapestry by Jenny Oaks Baker and Jenny Richards, but couldn't remember where I'd heard it.

So here's Ashokan Farewell.



Enjoy your passage into my head!

Why Are so Many of Us Obsessed with Twilight?, Or: Why People Read Books

Warning: This post comes as close to PG-13 as I've ever been. It's not explicit, but may be too frank for some.
Warning II: Twilight spoilers ahead (duh).




_________________

In order to discover why people (mostly women, but some men also) are so obsessed with Stephenie Meyer's best-selling series, we must first look at why people get obsessed with romances and books in general.

So what is it about a book, that can draw someone in? Even books that are not well written?

Remember these?





Basically, something intriguing happens, and attracts your attention. You begin reading (or watching, listening etc.) and tension builds, keeping your attention and engaging your mind and/or emotions. Finally, the tension is paramount, reaches a climax, and then everything winds down to the conclusion.

Now pretend for a moment, that you saw one of those charts up there for the first time (Gardner's for example). Pretend that it was free of words. Follow the line with your finger, inhaling with the upward motion, exhaling with the downward....

Remind you of something?


....Nothing? Really?



It seriously doesn't remind you of anything?




Maybe it's just me.


Think about it....something that, like a story, stems from initial attraction, builds until you thirst for more, climaxes at the best part, and then relaxes, leaving you satisfied but eager for another such encounter.

....

Just in case anyone is still not sure of my metaphor, let me spell it out. Incentive Moment = Attraction, Rising Action = Foreplay, Continuing Tension = sex, Climax = ....er....Climax, and Denouement (Falling Action) = Cuddling, Sleeping, or whatever (who knows, maybe even a sequel....).


For those of you who have never been obsessed with reading in general...perhaps now you understand how a bookworm is made. Basically....reading is like sex for your brain.

Now don't freak out on me! I'm not saying people like books for sexual reasons, I'm merely comparing two things that seem to follow a similar pattern.

I love books and consume them with an appetite. Everyone has their little pleasures. I imagine your enjoyment follows a similar pattern when you meet a deadline at work, teach a successful lesson, or help someone solve a problem.

For all of you who have done any of these things, you know what it's like to build up to something, enjoy the process, have the moment of achievement, and then the relaxing euphoria of a job well done.

However, we are human. Euphoria wears off. We have fond memories of accomplishments, but the feelings fade. Fortunately, there are plenty of books to read, problems to solve, people to help, and....well, you get the idea.

Writers have their little tricks to keep tension (and interest) high. Anne Perry, renowned for her Victorian mysteries, skips the Denouement. Almost as soon as the killer is revealed, the action completed, the book ends. There is no gracious explanation by the detective, no revelation on how "elementary" or "the 'leetle' gray cells" saved the day, and certainly no fluffy epilogue to explain which minor characters got married. Instead, you have to wait for the next book (which may or may not mention said minor characters), or figure it out yourself.

Romances, as a genre, have an especially difficult time following dramatic structure in a unique way. The purpose of a romance is (generally) to document a love affair. However, in order to build the proper tension, authors must include stumbling blocks to the two lovers. Many authors, through lack of creativity, ability, or mere interest utilize the same ones over and over again.

There are only so many detours on the path of "true love" : Misunderstanding, Shyness, Anger and Jealousy, Self-Doubt, and Mr. Wrong seem to be the most common.

Many creative, able, and deliberate authors choose to pad their romances with non-romantic plots, allowing those story-lines to incite the tension instead (or in addition). Of course this makes a case that such books are not actually romances, but some other genre. In truth, I find it hard to think of any romance I have enjoyed, that can not also be counted in some other category.

For example: Family Drama, Social Satire, Historical Fiction, Fantasy, Action Adventure, Horror and Mystery, Comedy etc.

The above genres can still be butchered, but they give the author more leeway. A specific example would be Jane Austen. While I would not consider her books to be romances, romance was a key aspect of her writing. However, instead of populating her stories with flat leads and completely unmemorable minor characters (like some stories I've wasted time on), Austen took time to develop her characters. We learn, not just of a hero and heroine, but of their families, friends, and neighbors. We know their quirks, foibles, and tastes. This allowed Austen to make subtle commentaries on society, politics, family dynamics etc. that kept her audience entertained while her main characters figured out how to be together.

So how do romantic stories (good and bad) affect the obsessive? Imagine the mental and emotional response you have to the building tension and climax of your favorite movie or book. Now, add the mental and emotional response you have to new love. Remember how exciting new love is?

Most people in the world are not currently experiencing this phenomenon. They are either seeking someone worthy of, and willing to receive, their attention, or they have committed themselves to someone, and are moving toward a deeper communion.

But does that mean they can't experience the exciting enticement of new love without cheating, or wasting time? It depends. If you are the sort of person who can be swept away by a good story, who can suspend disbelief, and enter a new world in every book, then perhaps, for you, vicarious new love will always be within reach.

(*Note: The Author is neither advocating, nor opposing the escapism implied in this concept, she merely sympathizes with you all, and reminds herself to remember the words of our Old Friend: "It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live.")

This vicarious new love can be exciting, but it fades more quickly than a real (typical) infatuation. Some romances (the smutty ones), also try to vicariously induce other responses. These can be especially enticing to women, as it provides an emotional context for eroticism, that pornographic imagery often (I assume) lacks.

(*Note: The Author wishes to make it very clear, that she believes pornography in any form is detrimental to relationships, families, and individuals. Here she recommends strict self-control.)



Finally, we arrive at Twilight, a series that combines two genius tension builders.

First, Danger: One morning Stephenie Meyer awoke from a Dream involving a girl and a Vampire with two problems. One, they were in love, and two, her blood was (somehow) more enticing to him than any other. For those of you who have not read Twilight, Stephenie Meyer's Vampires do not merely enjoy drinking blood, it is a constant, raging, painful thirst. To deny themselves, as the Cullens do, is torture. In addition, it is occasionally possible for certain blood to attract certain Vampires (as is the case with Edward and Bella). Therefore, Bella is in constant danger from the Vampire's around her, and specifically from the one she has fallen for.

Second, Sexual Tension: While most modern romance novels (even many written for teens) contain sexual encounters, Twilight, and two of its sequels, do not. By making Edward chivalrous and a bit old fashioned, Stephenie Meyer was able to reconcile the modern romance with her own personal beliefs. Whether or not she also intended to draw out sexual tension, is unknown.


The Result
The combination of these tensions allow the author to break some of the rules of her genre, beginning by allowing the two main characters to be together. They immediately show interest in each other, and, after some initial ignoring, they spend all their time together. This is allowable because, where most romance series keep you asking, "When, when, when will they [hero and heroine] get together," Twilight makes you ask, "How, how, how will this ever work?"

Because we are constantly, morbidly curious to see if the hero will kill the heroine, there is no typical let down after the milestones in their relationship. Innocent moments like the first date, first touch, and first kiss become passion ridden, dangerously critical trials of endurance and love.

Edward explains that Bella would especially be in danger if they experimented sexually, and tries to keep them as far from that situation as possible. Eventually, it is also revealed that he wants to "wait" for marriage. By giving her characters a boundary that they must avoid as widely as possible, Meyer can have Bella and Edward flirt inch by dangerous inch along the path of their desire, exploring forms of affection (like cuddling) that the modern romance often completely ignores (They can't even french kiss, for fear of Bella cutting herself on Edward's sharp teeth). With each fractional increase, the danger intensifies, and Edward must find new depths of self-control!

Talk about tension!!!



Okay....breathe.

So there's your answer: tension and euphoria. (And welcome to the Denouement of my post.) As humans, we've learned, the greater the tension, the greater the euphoria, right? I'm not going to tell you if Twilight payed off, you'll just have to read the books for yourself.

Also, I wanted to add that, while I have illustrated what might make the works of Stephenie Meyer attractive and popular, I do not mean this to be a review of their literary merit. I leave that up to professional and personal opinions.

Hopefully I've answered some questions, I certainly enjoyed trying.


The End


(Why do I suddenly feel like having a cigarette....?)

Timeline of Obsession

I've been thinking lately about the nature of obsession. I don't want to get into that right now, but my thoughts on it have lead me to realize that I have a bit of an obsessive personality. In my mind, an obsession is recurrent thoughts on a particular subject. Ones mind returns to this subject over, and over, when it's not busy with, or distracted by, other things.

In thinking about my obsessions, I realized that I can follow them like stepping stones into my past. The trail ends during my first year at BYU (03/04) after which I can no longer remember the order of my obsessions, or even all of them. The ones that stick out, are the ones I returned to over and over again.

P.S. Do not assume that these obsessions were on the heels of each other. Some of them overlapped, and some had days, weeks, or months in between. In addition, just because I focus on something during my free time, does not mean it is the most important thing to me (for example, I don't consider myself obsessed with my husband at the moment, but that doesn't mean I don't love/think about him.


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Blogging
shirt.woot.com
Harry Potter
Twilight
Chris/Marriage to Chris
Chris/Wedding to Chris
Chris/Figuring out Chris
Singleness/A Guy who's name I'm keeping to myself
Twilight
A Good Friend/Chris, lack thereof
Harry Potter
Chris/Breaking up with Chris
Chris/Dating Chris
Chris/Getting to know Chris
Weston/Harry Potter/Gilmore Girls
Dustin/Harry Potter/Gilmore Girls
Isaac/Harry Potter/Gilmore Girls
Harry Potter
Issac/Harry Potter
Harry Potter/Random Movie Quotes
Harry Potter
Star Wars
The Scarlet Pimpernel
Star Wars

_____________


Here we enter the land of vague. I would say there is a tie between Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek, and Anne Perry's Mysteries. Runners up include: Jane Austen, Lloyd Alexander Books, Anne of Green Gables, The Scarlet Pimpernel, The Dark is Rising Sequence, Gene Stratton Porter, and The Little House Books.

Oh and half of 2001 I had a crush on a guy named Bradley (Yes, that Bradley).

So there you have it.

My conclusions?
1. Written words have more power over me than music (notice there are no albums up there), I didn't even think of any until just now, but they'd probably have to include Wicked, Into the Woods, and The Beatles. I also realize that I haven't included any of my favorite causes. Oh well.
2. Apparently Chris' only real rival for my affections is Harry Potter.... (not!)

Question: Is Edward Cullen an Abusive Boyfriend?

Answer: I don't think so, but we'll see.

Disclaimer: I managed to read all four Twilight books without falling in love with Edward Cullin. I think he's an interesting character, he's just not the kind of guy I'd want (Plus, he's NOT REAL). That being said, I was kind of obsessed with the books for a while, but I got over it. I think this puts me in a unique position. I don't think Stephenie Meyer's saga is "tHE beSt EvEr!" but I enjoyed them, and think they're fun. If you think it's silly to analyze fictional characters, you won't enjoy this, so go away.

If you intend to, but have not yet read the Twilight series, consider this your warning: Spoilers Ahead!


Now, I've been thinking about this since dear Liz, Nicole (miss you!) and I talked about it on Saturday. Is Bella in an abusive relationship? Well, I looked up a few websites, and can easily claim that NO she is not. Of the ten characteristics listed on this site, Edward only has three (as does Bella), so I conclude that he is not abusive....Physically.

Unfortunately, Edward and Bella's relationship is a candidate for Ambient (or Stealth) Abuse.

According to Dr. Sam Vaknin's book, "Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited," ambient abuse is, "...the stealth, subtle, underground currents of maltreatment that sometimes go unnoticed even by the victims themselves, until it is too late. ...It is the outcome of fear."

By subtly introducing fear to a victim (or prey, as Vaknin says) an ambient abuser renders him or her useless and easily manipulated....it's all about control.

Now, here comes the age old debate on Desire. If someone doesn't want to, or intend to hurt you, are they still responsible for it? This will be important.

It is my assertion that Edward can be considered an Ambient Abuser, when who he is, is added to what he is.

Vaknin gives five categories of Ambient Abuse. One can be considered abuse, but, by the nature of his personality, we can assign Edward two or three. In addition, by the nature of his species, we can assign him the other two. So, while he does not seem abusive, it does appear that Bella is being abused.

Let's begin.

I. Inducing Disorientation (Not Edward's Fault)

"The abuser causes the victim to lose faith in her ability to manage and to cope with the world and its demands." Let's face it, Bella has never had much faith in her ability to begin with, Edward didn't cause that.

"The abuser subverts the target's focus by disagreeing with her way of perceiving the world, her judgment, the facts of her existence, by criticizing her incessantly – and by offering plausible but specious alternatives. By constantly lying, he blurs the line between reality and nightmare."

Edward does lie to Bella, when he is trying to protect her, but she can usually tell. He often criticizes her, but in a charming way. He has the habit of trying to convince her she is good and beautiful (things she does not believe) but often teases her about her intelligence and logic (things that she is more confident in).

"Bella, you are utterly absurd" (Twilight p. 82). "You don’t see yourself very clearly, you know. I’ll admit you’re dead-on about the bad things, but you didn’t hear what every human male in this school was thinking on your first day" (210). Edward is constantly trying to convince Bella to believe the opposite, to see herself as he sees her. It's not intended malignantly, and Bella never buys it anyway. While Edward often disapproves of Bella's choices (as do many others) she usually is convinced she's done the right thing. However, he does introduce her to a new world, a world where her previous notions and beliefs cannot exist, a world of vampires and mythology. This, more than anything, seems to make Bella reassess herself, her life. She is ready to accept almost anything.

II. Incapacitating (Both Edward's Fault and Not Edward's Fault)

"The abuser gradually and surreptitiously takes over functions and chores previously adequately and skilfully performed by the victim. The prey finds itself isolated from the outer world, a hostage to the goodwill – or, more often, ill-will – of her captor. She is crippled by his encroachment and by the inexorable dissolution of her boundaries and ends up totally dependent on her tormentor's whims and desires, plans and stratagems." Edward is Chivalrous. He drives her to school, he protects her from harm, he makes sure she eats. Here's where intent comes in play. Does he like it when she's helpless and depends solely on him, or is he merely a little old fashioned and service-oriented. After all, he usually drives his whole family to school....but it is his car.

"Moreover, the abuser engineers impossible, dangerous, unpredictable, unprecedented, or highly specific situations in which he is sorely needed. The abuser makes sure that his knowledge, his skills, his connections, or his traits are the only ones applicable and the most useful in the situations that he, himself, wrought. The abuser generates his own indispensability." This Edward has not done purposefully. At first, he is of the greatest danger to Bella, but quickly becomes her best defense. Did he somehow entice enemies (James, Victoria, the Volturi) to Bella in order to have the opportunity to save her? Don't be silly. He defends her completely, hates that he has to, and blames himself for exposing her to his world in the first-place (cue self-loathing).

III. Shared Psychosis (folie a deux) (Not Edward's Fault)

"The abuser creates a fantasy world, inhabited by the victim and himself, and besieged by imaginary enemies. He allocates to the abused the role of defending this invented and unreal Universe. She must swear to secrecy, stand by her abuser no matter what, lie, fight, pretend, obfuscate and do whatever else it takes to preserve this oasis of inanity." The fantasy world that Bella and Edward inhabit is real (at least to them). However, it does call for secrecy and solidarity. This, in part, is what makes Edward so enticing to Bella and other (real) women.

"Her membership in the abuser's "kingdom" is cast as a privilege and a prize. But it is not to be taken for granted. She has to work hard to earn her continued affiliation. She is constantly being tested and evaluated. Inevitably, this interminable stress reduces the victim's resistance and her ability to "see straight"." Again, this is not engineered by Edward, but by the nature of Vampires and Bella herself. She has never fit in anywhere, and suddenly is welcomed in by the most beautiful, strongest, fastest, "coolest," people around. So of course, when Edward leaves and tries to "save" her from herself, she only craves him more. Soon he becomes her be all, end all. She cannot live without him.

Can you imagine what it would have been like if Stephenie Meyer ended her series showing Bella and Edward in some mental institution and you realize that he made the whole thing up! I probably would have been mad, but it would have been awesome in a creepy way.

IV. Abuse of Information (Edward's Fault)

"From the first moments of an encounter with another person, the abuser is on the prowl. He collects information. The more he knows about his potential victim – the better able he is to coerce, manipulate, charm, extort or convert it "to the cause"." Edward did this. He wanted to know everything about Bella, partly because he couldn't read her thoughts, and partly because he was in lust with her (at that point, I don't think he loved her, physically he's still seventeen, but I could be wrong). While we know his intention was not manipulation, on page 208 of Twilight Edward says, "I do want to know what you’re thinking — everything," and on 245, "You fascinate me." While he does care what Bella thinks, that doesn't always affect his actions. As long as she is happy and satisfied, where's the harm? Dangerous situation coming to town? Don't tell Bella, just take her to visit her mother.

"The abuser does not hesitate to misuse the information he gleans, regardless of its intimate nature or the circumstances in which he obtained it. This is a powerful tool in his armory." While Edward does not seem manipulative for the sake of manipulation, he is willing to stoop that low if he believes it is for Bella's own good. He insists that she will lose her soul if she becomes a vampire (though he doesn't really know), but she won't drop it, so he offers to make a deal. He offers her what she wants in return for what he wants. Compromise, right? But is it an accident that he asks for something that she is afraid to give? Did he infer this fear, and use it against her? Or was he unaware of it? Even though her fears are unfounded, it makes her rethink her original request. For a while, it looks like he might get his way. (Of course, she later turns things back on him, and proves that she can be just as devious, and in the end they both get what they want almost by accident.)

V. Control by Proxy (Edward's Fault and Not Edward's Fault)

"If all else fails, the abuser recruits friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbours, the media, teachers – in short, third parties – to do his bidding. He uses them to cajole, coerce, threaten, stalk, offer, retreat, tempt, convince, harass, communicate and otherwise manipulate his target. He controls these unaware instruments exactly as he plans to control his ultimate prey. He employs the same mechanisms and devices. And he dumps his props unceremoniously when the job is done." Remember when Alice "kidnaps" Bella for that forced slumber "party?" Remember all those times when Charlie gets over-protective and Edward agrees with him when it keeps Bella where he wants her? True, he is trying to protect her from her own impulsiveness, and he definitely doesn't "dump" his allies (Alice is probably his best friend, and he has a lot of respect for Charlie), but he does overrule her in logical matters. He insists that he knows better.

"Another form of control by proxy is to engineer situations in which abuse is inflicted upon another person. Such carefully crafted scenarios of embarrassment and humiliation provoke social sanctions (condemnation, opprobrium, or even physical punishment) against the victim. Society, or a social group become the instruments of the abuser." This is not Edward, but, as above, we have seen that his world has caused this. The Volturi, random nomadic vampires, and even the local gossip mill all cause Bella grief.

Desire

As stated above Edward believes he knows what is best, or rather safest, for Bella, but is he wrong in trying to overrule and protect her? In truth, he is usually (but not always) right. Not because he is a man, not because he is older, but because, as a vampire, his brain works on a higher level. His synapses fire more rapidly, he has a perfect memory, and he's been to college several times. In comparison, Bella's mind is like a child. Is is wrong for you, as an adult, to see a child wandering the streets and take them to Child Protective Services? You have no authority over that child, yet what you did would be seen as heroic, even if the child prefers living on the streets. Many have complained that this kind of behavior is proof that Stephenie Meyer is anti-feminist, but she insists that she is merely, "anti-human." (stepheniemeyer.com) Looking at some of her other characters (Alice for one) does seem to make this argument viable. However, this "anti-human" sentiment is present for three books, books that are written in the first person. This can make it dangerous to those who may misinterpret the author's intentions, as Bella generally seems reasonable to herself and, therefore, the reader.

Conclusions

Despite his inclination to jealousy, self-loathing, and his own acknowledged "God complex" (Midnight Sun, p. 11) Edward Cullen is merely a borderline ambient abuser. He allows his desire to protect Bella to overcome his respect for her individuality. However, when the object of his concern (namely, Bella's human frailty) is extinguished, he begins to trust her more completely. He doesn't like to see her in dangerous situations, but stops being deceitful in order to keep her from them.

While it does seem as though Bella was experiencing all of the above abuses, few of them were actually caused, let alone intended, by Edward. However, had Bella remained human, we can only assume that the inequality of their relationship would have continued.

Perhaps we can assume that any human-vampire relationship would be, by nature, abusive in addition to dangerous.

Arguing that Edward abuses Bella is feasible, but not really fair. We are attempting to judge a cross-species relationship in a fantasy world. Now if you want to try to argue that Bella is abusing herself....

To all you women who wish for an Edward in your life....you may want to think again.

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Please don't shoot me:

To fellow fans of Twilight, please allow me the enjoyment I've had playing devil's advocate. As stated above, I like Stephenie Meyer, her books, and characters, but that doesn't mean we should accept everything she's written as a perfect dream to pursue without some serious consideration.

To all you Twilight haters, don't begrudge me the harmless fun of my escapist tendencies. I've overcome my obsession and lived to laugh at myself. I know it's hard to accept that so many people are so obsessed with something you find so valueless, but please, at least it's not High School Musical.