26 August, 2007

Coward


Do you know what it is to walk through life knowing that mediocre for you is still better than what most people can produce? So you never rise to your full potential because you don’t need to.

It’s only a half victory to be praised for what you know is really just a pathetic attempt, a last-minute, scrapped together, half-hearted effort.

Even though you know it is good, it’ll never be as good as you knew it could be. Any accomplishment is over-shadowed by what it should have been, by what you know you are capable of.

Is it wrong to be used to seeming amazing to most others? To be apathetic about your own impressiveness? You don’t like caring what most people think about you, it protects you from their negativity, but it also makes their praise seem less valuable.

But you still go on knowing your potential and value....you just never seem to do anything about it. And you wonder if you’ll ever really do something amazing, truly amazing. You have suspicion of your own greatness, but you don’t know if you’ll ever realize it. You slog along in the ditches of humanity, feeling alone in the concourses of people you love. You’re happy, but never really content.

You could break free, you could go climb a mountain, or start a rebellion, but it would be a lot of work, and it would take far too long.

You don’t need glory, but it would be nice to feel alive with purpose instead of potential. You don’t need accomplishment, but if you’ve never truly felt it, can you really know?

And then you realize that you are a coward. You are afraid of working too hard, of feeling too much. You are disdainful of human realities, but by refusing to partake, you deny yourself and all mankind the blessed prospect of your creations.

Whatever they might be.



1 comment:

Mz. Liz said...

this is so true - *total sympathizer* This quote helps me http://www3.sympatico.ca/lightworlds/ourgreatestfear.htm and serving a mission pretty much threw me against a wall in terms of learing my capacities too. It was great.

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