Such Words

It is interesting to be named for a woman so associated with motherhood. I have always felt such a kinship with her. A woman of pure virtue, a woman of beauty, I always dreamed of playing her on stage, singing songs about her, or being discovered by an artist, certain that I am the very vision of her, and must be the model for his painting.

I also dreamed of and gloried in coming motherhood, from childhood even. I have always been, profoundly, a future mother.

As I grew older, I knew this to be my chosen path, more important than any career. College was for growth, and development of talents and interests, and to a lesser degree preparation for a possible income.

Surely I would have many children. Why bother waiting? All I needed was the right man, someone I could share every bit of myself with and one who desired children in the way I did. What a glorious future!


(This pause is for laughing/eye-rolling etc.)


Now, my hopes are so solid in comparison to my girlish dreams. They are more specific, more based in reality. I watch friends planning on having a few children giving birth right and left.

We, the little family with grand plans, wait, wait, wait.

Somehow Barren Tree is more a companion, than tiny seedling.

And Mary…Mary!

My hero, my guide.

For the first time in my life, her story gives me pain.

The beautiful, transforming words, “Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb…,” prick my heart.

Please, Lord, let such words be for me.

Byronic: Jane Eyre as told by Alanis Morissette

If you're not familiar with Alanis Morissette, you can listen to the original here.

And in case you wanna sing along, here's the karaoke version:




(Spoilers ahead)

"Byronic"

A young man brooded alone
Waiting for someone to speak to his soul
Until here you come a quiet fool
And before you know it into his arms you’ve flown
And isn't it Byronic... don't you think

Then a man shows up on your wedding day
Your dreams are shattered cause your fiancé
Has a wife in the attic that he’s hidden away
Who would've thought... it figures

No matter what you do what is right
You pack your suitcase and tell him goodbye
He’s so confident that you’ll do what he says
But you sneak out in the middle of the night
And isn't it Byronic... don't you think

Cause the man showed up on your wedding day
Your dreams were shattered cause your fiancé
Had a wife in the attic that he’d hidden away
Who would've thought... it figures

Tall, Dark, and Handsome face, doesn’t mean that it’s alright
When he won’t give you space, and has arrogance to match his charm
But ”Mad, Bad, and Dangerous” doesn’t mean he can’t love
You till the end of time and through all obstacles
In your way

A secret cousin who takes you in
A random inheritance gives you freedom from him
Then you’re hearing voices that change your life
Your love’s been blinded by a fire
Set by his crazy wife
And isn't it Byronic...don't you think?
A little too Byronic...and, yeah, I really do think...

When that man showed up on your wedding day
And dreams were shattered cause your fiancé
Had a wife in the attic that he’d hidden away
You should've thought... it figures

Tall, Dark, and Handsome face haunting your dreams at night
”Mad, Bad, and Dangerous” ways telling you he’s no white knight
He’s no white knight